You know what? I'm just tired of their bulls. Liking someone shouldn't be that hard anyway. With them it's like litarally being in a constant contest of who's saying it first, or who will trick the other. I don't want to play "say uncle". I just want to be throughoutly awed, and adored by a guy. I mean don't they ever listen to Marc Anthony or all of these soul songs. I'm suppose to feel special, empowered people.
Where are they these guys who make a girl feel like a lady? Do they even exist anyway? People seriously, why do I always meet jackasses, or dumbasses? Have I been cursed without knowing it? I mean I know bitches (including my sister) who treat guys like dirt, and they are the one who get the good ones. Boys are stupid! No really they are the slowest gender of the human species, and believe me I'm talking from experience.
They always say don't date guys in their early teens, and I haven't. Well kind of! Still it's like I'm talking to a puppet who I can manipulate however how want, and even then they still mess up, or the arrongant kind who thinks that he's so perfect or so smart that he doesn't need you, even though they are the one who approche you, or finally the goody-too-shoes species who are so in love with another girl (who might not like them back) that they don't even notice you. I guess it's true what they say about guys "they are like parking places, the good ones are taken, the bad ones are open and the rest is handicapped?"
But the funny thing is that I can't even say that I'm done with guys like experienced girls who had their shares of them. I haven't even had a real boyfriend yet, neither a good kiss. You know the kiss that make your knees melt, and turn you to a lala. The kiss that just "pop", make you hear fireworks, and see fairies. I'm just a poor virgin waititng for the right moment. BOOHOOHOO. I don't need people to pity me really. But, SERIOUSLY! Come on God, a taste that's all I'am asking for, just a taste of how it could be.
You know what? I think I'm turning into a big ninny all of the sudden. But somehow it's so unfair though. I'm a bitch I know, and that's my big punishment for always gossiping about people, but I just can't stand that I'm so...so... really I don't even what know myself.

I can't help what people think of me most of the time. But why do they always have a bad impression of me. Well basically, my family thinks that I'm a buckhead, my boyfriends' sisters think that I'm the rebellious immature, little sister that they would have to nuture, and shelther one day, and most strangers see me as a crazy, sometimes meany materialist girl, and finally most guys don't even notice me let alone to have an impression of me.
Globally, I'm living in a world where no one knows me for who I really am. I mean, I'm no complex person, my life is simple as saying good morning. So I wonder why I can never fit in. So far I've never found someone that matches me. What I want to say is if there is no body who knows you, there won't be no one to understand you neither.
But in a weird way I don't hold any grudge against them. Seriously I'm still confused about the whole knowing oneself myself, so I don't expect anybody to know me. Well maybe not, but I want... need someone to think me worth trying for. You know, The guy who will never get what you're saying because he doesn't understand the whole girl gibberish, but who still try and make you feel like you important. ohhh! Here we go again with the whole guy situation. I better go befor I say something stupid.